Psalms of Olúwalónimí

It wouldn't matter how many times you fall or didn't.. Fact, God is not batting an eyelid. Cos if you don't fall, how would you break, how would grace catch you? But the point is this, are you learning? He is breaking you, but do you see it? Are you seeing the gulf between your bent and Him? Are you learning?

You worry too much about the other person, Really though it's not about the other person. Its first about you. Be right first! Then rest assured he will be right. Understand you are only right to the degree you are pleasing God. Who are you pleasing? What is your bent? You or God? Now to be sure of this, you need to understand your bent, so you can consciously live outside of it. Know your self; grow into your prophetic destiny, then you'd know where to place people in your life. All Trinity had to hold on to was the fact that "she'd fall in love with the one". Not Neo. She fell in love with the one. It was Neo because he grew into that. If she didn't hold on to her destiny, she had all the excuse to make it Cypher. She defied her bent. She fell in love with the one. The choice to marry is not only to be happy It is a contribution to divine economy and dealing. Sanctification. Oneness. Know your self. Be right. He will be right!

I know I confuse you I give you more than a thousand reasons to wonder Worse still, I don't care. I've come to accept that nothing good dwells in man. So I do not strive to be good I strive to be him. Its beauty overall The dark shades And the bright ones, Both make wonderful shades of grey. Beautiful confusion.lol I know. I know. I know it's hard to comprehend a girl whose outward seems different from inward; Depth yet no show. I look like a joke yet you see streak of intentionality. Play-full, yet head screwed on You see... I know I confuse you But I'm really not sorry I'm too engrossed in the love of this life. You may have to walk my path to see....

You are true. And because I'm just like you; I'm as true... I look within and marvel at your strength in me. It gives me joy. I'm proud to be a heir. The strength to undermine self. The strength to own my flaws; not to shroud my mistakes with excuses or the flaws of others. The strength to accept the apology I never received. The strength to choose to see you behind every scene. To choose to follow with eager feet while groping. To lift my head high even when people are puzzled. To live alone in the crowd. To hold on to you when everything is screaming otherwise. Oh! Such strength; you, you are true. And when I allow my self into the other zone; When I want to be human because I feel I've been strong for too long; When I bury my head and allow logic to becloud me... When I cry because sometimes strength comes in liquid... I cannot but laugh it off because your joy is indeed my strength!

Downcasted... I just want to cry On a day like this, I want so badly to know why you happened in the first place. I see where your coming taught me to be wary of emotions, and how much I still have to learn. Yet, why do I feel that doesn't answer my question; why did I ever meet you? I want to know, badly. I can't seem to forget the things that convinced me in the first place. Were they true Or Was I so wrong? And if I'm being stupid, I beg to be allowed for the meantime; can I be human? Above all, I know there is a bigger picture that's not to be forgotten...

25. Oh well, for the records. Even 4years here will not matter if I do not learn how to make it matter. Little wonder there was nothing to celebrate. Life? Yes, I'm always grateful for that. I've fought to be called by a name but I guess I've spent too much time dwelling on that. Back to scratch. It's time to be sown again To learn anew, all I thought I've learned. To bridge the gap between my spirit and my mind; to gain understanding of the secret I suspect. Poor am I.

I'm learning that with You there can't be mixtures. Be all in or get all out. I'm a prisoner of my emotions. I invested my emotions on mere speculations-things that look like it. My heart stays on You but my mind reasoned- " there must be something, we can't just gel like that. What if... What if... What if... " But even if I was right, how was I to determine how things will go? There can't be mixtures. My feelings can't be a basis. I'd miss you. Very much so. Your mind. How you can read my thoughts before I let them out. Your wits. Your calmness. Your gestures. I didn't even know I was holding you, till I sat to take stock of how worried I become when you didn't reach out, how much I longed to hear from you, to hear you smile and be sarcastic. But really, am I not doing to you what the other did to me? So I'm not different. The difference really is this light and with it, I need to stay. so these things can...