Psalms of Olúwalónimí

25. Oh well, for the records. Even 4years here will not matter if I do not learn how to make it matter. Little wonder there was nothing to celebrate. Life? Yes, I'm always grateful for that. I've fought to be called by a name but I guess I've spent too much time dwelling on that. Back to scratch. It's time to be sown again To learn anew, all I thought I've learned. To bridge the gap between my spirit and my mind; to gain understanding of the secret I suspect. Poor am I.

I'm learning that with You there can't be mixtures. Be all in or get all out. I'm a prisoner of my emotions. I invested my emotions on mere speculations-things that look like it. My heart stays on You but my mind reasoned- " there must be something, we can't just gel like that. What if... What if... What if... " But even if I was right, how was I to determine how things will go? There can't be mixtures. My feelings can't be a basis. I'd miss you. Very much so. Your mind. How you can read my thoughts before I let them out. Your wits. Your calmness. Your gestures. I didn't even know I was holding you, till I sat to take stock of how worried I become when you didn't reach out, how much I longed to hear from you, to hear you smile and be sarcastic. But really, am I not doing to you what the other did to me? So I'm not different. The difference really is this light and with it, I need to stay. so these things can...