Psalms of Olúwalónimí

Life is in phases. I call it the high and the low. You are high, when you get what you want at the time you want it When circumstances conspire to allow you flaunt your strengths. When you get more than a clap for your victories. You could gloat on how you did it and bask in all the attention, affection and praises... But the tide turns And it's time to sow That which you have received Time to prove That which you have been accorded Time to be reprimanded Time to be overlooked Time to be bare Time to be low You are not hated Life is a package A total one at that The high and the low One without the other will make it less than life Because life is a teacher, taking us through the different phases of it. You master the art of living when you can deal equally with either phase. Brother Paul said I have learned to be content. He said I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Have you received the strength to live the low as much as you do the high? ...

This feeling to keep tearing up has come to stay And I'd endure while it lasts. Perhaps it's what you want from me at the moment. For every gap that my mistakes has created, let my tears fill up.. For every turn I missed, let my tears compensate. For the lessons I should learn, let my tears be the price. Let it not go unnoticed . Helpless and numb am I. Armed with my tears and a broken heart. You have kept count of my tossings ; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

So what have you received if you cannot give? Of what need is that which you have, if you cannot sow? What will your journey matter, if it does not point to another, or make another clearer.. It's a life you have been given It should not die with you. The principle of the kingdom suffices: each man for his brother; pursuing another's best. My fears will not matter My worries will diminish When in contrast with kingdom principles. Legit as they are, they should make me better. I have learnt that I shouldn't give too much attention to my fears. To trust means to let go of my reservations and fears It comes with how much I have realised that I cannot help myself. I laugh at how I got it all wrong, But I'm grateful for the lessons It's all worth it. No one said being with 'him' is do or die The goal is to please God; Sharing that life with all sincerity Even as he supplies help and wisdom. What I receive, I sow. That's the goal!

Never had I known what it means to be naked. To be without anything private To put away the facade To withhold nothing To put all the cards down. I thought I knew until I got my fingers burnt. Sometimes I think I can hold my shit together That it's just trivial, I got this! But something matters more than following, It is knowing how to follow. How to walk. I found that I need to get to the end of myself, that way, nothing hidden! I cannot do anything for myself! I'm sorry Lord I'm sorry dad. My heart is broken. If you don't trust me then what's all these about I've learnt In a hard way. Please, let this cup pass... Soon.