Psalms of Olúwalónimí

People are funny. It doesn't matter whatever ship we might be in, be it relationship or friendship, people will amuse you, because that's what we are-funny! Sometimes I wonder if it is worth the stress, if people are really worth it.  Everyone just has their head stuck somewhere-their ideal, and it doesn't really matter how much conversation you have had, or how long the journey had been, it doesn't always affect our different ways of seeing things. How come what you hear is me disparaging or discrediting your effort, when all I'm doing is clearly looking out for you?? You see? Funny. I'm here thinking you should breathe, and what you saw was me not appreciating your effort.  I bare my soul to you and what you think of me is I cannot keep friends or make connections. It's a different thing if you're asking questions, it's not like what you have noticed shouldn't be probed, but you have simply drawn conclusions, though you tell yourself you're...

The longing to speak laced with fear of misconception, and words falling short.... 

Dear diary, I know it's been a long time coming  And I know if you could talk, you'd literally scream 'finally!' lol.  Didn't mean not to talk about this, it's just been a lot of emotions put together and hurled at me... I staggered, didn't know where or how to start, But here, it's looking like I can finally talk about it.  6months ago, Dami asked me to marry him, yeah! You heard me. I was shocked too.  Before then, it's been 3years since we've been friendly. A lot had happened. From me dealing with my feelings for him to questioning the very base of our friendship, and questioning if we really were friends. I held off, I observed. I couldn't remember the things I liked, or maybe I did, but it just didn't make sense anymore. Are we friends, or ẹ̀gbọ́n and àbúrò? Why did I really tell him all those things at the time? They were clearly unnecessary.... Those were my thoughts and what I believed we should talk about. Instead, he played the ...

In recent times, I've been tired. Tired of the admonitions The fear of not matching up Tired of the need to be in people's good books Of the steady eyes waiting to see me get it wrong Of the ever ready claws waiting to tear me apart Of the wagging tongue always tearing me down, despite knowing next to nothing about me.  I'm just really tired of everything, except you.  But I digress. Every morning I wake up, tired but ready to follow, Like today... And tomorrow.  Because I love you Your purpose, and how I fit in is all I am after. And you've got to help this tired hands, cos I cannot do this by myself. ******* You see the eagerness in my gait whenever I visit and I'm about to leave, what you don't see though, is the heaviness in those feet, the fear in my heart and the ton of questions in my mind.  Everytime I have to leave you, alone, I hope and pray it isn't the last time we'd see...  I'm not the child you think I am I'm just sold out.... Thing...