Without mixtures.

-
I'm learning
that with You there can't be mixtures.
Be all in or get all out.
I'm a prisoner of my emotions.
I invested my emotions on mere speculations-things that look like it.
My heart stays on You but my mind reasoned- "there must be something, we can't just gel like that.
What if...
What if...
What if..."
But even if I was right, how was I to determine how things will go?
There can't be mixtures.
My feelings can't be a basis.

I'd miss you. Very much so.
Your mind.
How you can read my thoughts before I let them out.
Your wits.
Your calmness.
Your gestures.
I didn't even know I was holding you,
till I sat to take stock of how worried I become when you didn't reach out,
how much I longed to hear from you,
to hear you smile and be sarcastic.
But really, am I not doing to you what the other did to me?
So I'm not different.
The difference really is this light
and with it, I need to stay.
so these things can become crystal clear.

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